First off, AMBER is the winner of the adoption DVD giveaway! Email me your mailing address at firstname.lastname@example.org, Amber! Congrats!
Now on to my rambling for the day…
Chili makes my girl mean.
Princess is a good eater. She doesn’t like everything, but she’s usually willing to try and give a polite, “I don’t like this.” or “No, thank you.” She typically raves about my food – even if it’s just a spear of cantaloupe with a slice of bologna wrapped around it – and brags to her friends about how I make dinner every day.
But when I make chili?
She gets mean!
She starts complaining about it as soon as I call her to the kitchen for dinner. It looks too red/chunky/thin. It has too many/not enough tomatoes/onion/beans/spice. It isn’t how I made it last time. This isn’t the shredded cheese we usually have. The crackers taste old. On and on.
The only time she acts like this is with chili!
There’s something there…
And this trauma trigger very well could have started in our home!
She was with us for about a month when I made chili for the first time. I let her help me open the cans with our old fashioned manual can opener. She went back and forth with the opener causing the can to shred in a way I’ve never seen. I didn’t realize it, but tiny shards of metal went into the chili.
One got lodged in her tongue.
It hurt and was scary (for all three of us). It took some work, but Hubster eventually got it out with tweezers.
So maybe I had a tiny turn at creating some trauma? Or there could have been a negative experience before she even knew us that chili triggers. All I know is chili makes her hostile and no other food does!
We had chili last night and the sudden realization of, “Here we go again.” struck me hard. I left the table and had a pity party. She eventually apologized and said she didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. We talked about it. She said she really liked it when I made chili, that she loves it and it was really good. I wondered why her words and tone didn’t match that feeling. She didn’t know.
We decided not to ban chili from our house or to kick it to the curb, but to make it together next time.
Now here’s the cool part:
She brought it up ON HER OWN this morning. She never wants to rehash things. She is always anxious to move on and be done with it.
She asked a question about how something she said impacted me. She wanted to understand what bugged me better so she could try not to do it again.
She was being a bit bossy and argumentative this morning. It’s her first day at school with her hurt fingers all wrapped up and the start of a week of standardized testing on top of it. Trying to control everything else is what she does when she’s stressed.
BUT she RECOGNIZED IT! She said, “I’m being kind of bossy this morning. And I think I’m arguing too much. I’m sorry. I’ll try to stop.”
Evil chili leftovers are going down tonight. Perhaps on top of baked potatoes.
And here’s a little Milo, just because.